I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For – Thoughts From the Edges while Following Jesus.

I STILL HAVEN’T FOUND WHAT I’M LOOKING FOR –

Pastor Calvin Cook

January 6, 2026

“He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart…”  Ecclesiastes 3:11 (NIV)

Something happened this morning !

The last several weeks amid Advent, Christmas, New Years  and now Epiphany I have been searching through scripture, writings from all genre, prayer, worship both public and private for some answers to a few complexities that have consumed a lot of my time and thought. Some of the results of the searching has been assurance and some has drawn me deeper into a place that I don’t like to be.

So, what happened this morning was a song. For some reason the song by U2 – I Still Haven’t Found what I’m Looking For, popped up and I listened through. Through the calmness and only the way the Holy Spirit can do I felt a question – “are you finding what you are looking for.”  Long pause. Hmmm? Is what we are looking for able to be found?

Here is what I am hearing and praying through this morning:

We often begin our search looking outward — success, relationships, purpose, recognition, comfort. Each gives some sense of meaning, yet none fully quiets the anguish. The problem isn’t that we’re searching; it’s where and what we are searching and expecting to find in the end.

A scripture that constantly speaks to me is Psalm  42:1 “As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God.” (NIV)

I believe what we are ultimately looking for is not a destination, a title, or a feeling—it is communion with God. In doing sermon research the other day, I found a quote by Augustine that will become part of journaling reflections. Augustine speaks through the centuries very plainly a word for us today. “Our hearts are restless until they rest in You.”

Jesus also speaks to this in this very well known and often quoted verse of scripture:

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” Matthew 7:7 (NIV)

But what do we do and this is my struggle when it doesn’t seem as if anyone is answering the door, or that the door seems slammed shut.

Notice that Jesus isn’t telling us to take the shame on ourselves and become a depressed mess. He invites us. Seeking is not the opposite of faith, it is not searching for something else or a better way, or more, more, more. It often will be a pathway into deeper faith. Even after years of believing, serving, and walking with God, there are moments when we realize: there is still more of God and God’s ways that I need to know.

No one has all the answers. Matter of factly it often seems that sometime there are more questions than answers.

The goal of faith is not arriving at all the answers but learning to walk with the One who is the answer.

One more of my life scriptures – “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:13 (NIV)

If today you find yourself saying, “I still haven’t found what I’m looking for,” take heart. That longing may be God’s gentle invitation, not to give up, but to go deeper. Not to stop searching, but to shift your gaze.

Sometimes what we are looking for is not ahead of us but already living inside us.