I Want to Believe – Deep Reflection on Following Jesus From the Edges.

 Following Jesus From the Edges

I Want to Believe

Pastor Calvin Cook

April 15, 2026

Scripture: John 20:29 (NIV)

“Then Jesus told him, ‘Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.’”

I had a conversation not long ago with someone who was doubting. When asked the question “How is it going ?” My friend spilled everything. Their frustrations with the church, with people, with the world, politics, society, and everything in between.

Since that time I have considered my own doubts, frustrations and situations and have earnestly tried to confess and seek repentance it these doubts has caused me to sin or create a void in my relationship with God. Please don’t pity me but consider your own doubts. We can’t change people, situations, or what causes us to doubt, but we can trust in Jesus and pray hard centering ourselves in His will.

But there still remains the elephant in the room. There’s something in us that wants proof. We want to see it. We want to touch it. We want to know for sure before we commit.

Thomas gets a bad reputation for doubting, but if we’re honest, most of us live right there with him. We want proof, to see and feel solid evidence, before we surrender.. We want Jesus to show up clearly, undeniably, before we take the next step.

And yet Jesus says something regarding Thomas and those who doubt that turns everything upside down: “Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”

That’s us. We weren’t in the upper room. We didn’t place our hands in His wounds. We didn’t see the empty tomb with our own eyes.

And yet, we know, we must believe. Or at least… we’re trying to.

Faith, real faith, is not built on what we can physically see. It’s built on trust—trust in who Jesus is, trust in what He has done, and trust in what He is still doing even when we can’t see it clearly.

These devotionals Following Jesus From the Edges is where I try faithfully to come to grips with the matters of faith and obedience I struggle with. It is the need to step into the Upper Room whatever that looks like for us and focus. Focus on God’s word, focus on prayer, focus on listening, forgiveness, redemption and striving to be holy.

It is tough living on the Edge of the things in life that seem we are just one minute to late, or one step to short to experience everything that God is wanting to do in our lives. But yet there are the quiet struggles, the unseen burdens that capture what allows us to have the kind of faith that matters. Because much of what God is doing doesn’t come with flashing lights or clear explanations. It comes in whispers. In small steps. In obedience when it doesn’t make sense.

Faith is choosing to believe: When the answer hasn’t come yet. When the healing hasn’t happened yet. When the direction isn’t clear yet. It’s saying, “Jesus, I trust You… even here.”

And here’s the promise—Jesus calls that kind of faith blessed. Not weak. Not foolish. Blessed.

Maybe today you’re waiting for something you can’t see yet. Maybe you’re praying and wondering if God is even moving.

Hold on!

The same Jesus who stood before Thomas is the same Jesus walking with you right now. You may not see Him with your eyes—but He is present, He is working, and He is faithful.

And your belief—right here, right now—matters more than you know.

Prayer –

Lord Jesus, – Strengthen my faith in the places where I cannot see clearly. Help me to trust You in the waiting, in the unknown, and in the quiet moments. Teach me to walk by faith and not by sight. Thank You for calling me blessed, even here. Amen