When We Do Not Know What to Pray

Pastor Calvin Cook
Day 3 of 30 — September 9, 2026
Praying for One Another

Recently, while walking along Fraley Street in Kane, I met someone whom I had heard was going through a difficult season. As we approached one another, I asked how things were going. The person confirmed that life had indeed been difficult.

I tried to offer some kind words and share a little hope, but I sensed some resistance. When I offered to pray with and for this person, the response was, “I don’t think anything will do any good right now.”

I walked away carrying a burden for this person. I did not know the entire story or even what I should pray. I could only pray and remain willing to offer my presence.

This was not simply a prayer for physical healing. This person was carrying grief following the death of a family member, separation from people who had once been close, and other painful circumstances. I sensed that the battle went deeper than the visible problems. Despair had made it difficult for this person to recognize hope or believe that God could still be present.

I wanted to pray, but I did not know how to pray.

That brings us to one of the struggles we experience in our prayer lives. Yesterday, we remembered how Jesus prayed for Peter in the Upper Room. Today, Scripture tells us that when we do not know what to pray, the Holy Spirit intercedes for us “through wordless groans”—and does so according to the will of God.

Here is the complete Scripture from Romans 8:26–27:

“In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.”

Many circumstances can leave us without words: physical illness, emotional or mental struggles, broken relationships, grief, financial hardship, depression, loneliness, addiction, self-centeredness, and countless other sources of pain and discontent.

I have spent a great deal of time studying Scripture and trying to understand the wonderful promise that Jesus prays for us and that the Holy Spirit intercedes on our behalf. I want to rest in that promise. Yet I must also confess that my own doubts sometimes interrupt that assurance and pull me away from trusting God.

I have continued praying for the person I met on the street, even though I do not know exactly what to pray. I have simply been asking the Holy Spirit to intercede, because God knows this person completely and understands the needs of their heart.

Maybe you have found yourself in the same place. You promised to pray for someone, but when you began, you did not know what to say.

Perhaps the situation was so complicated that you could not see a clear answer. Someone you love was facing a serious illness. A family was grieving a terrible loss. A marriage was struggling. A child had wandered away. Someone was caught in addiction, overwhelmed by anxiety, or standing before a life-changing decision.

Sometimes we believe that effective prayer requires us to understand the entire situation, find exactly the right words, and explain to God what needs to happen. We may even feel guilty when all we can do is speak someone’s name, sit silently, weep, or say, “Lord, I do not know what to pray.”

Romans 8 reminds us that this is not a failure of prayer. It may be one of the most honest places from which we can pray.

Paul writes, “The Spirit helps us in our weakness.”

The Holy Spirit does not wait for us to become strong enough, wise enough, or spiritual enough to pray properly. The Spirit meets us in our weakness. When our understanding reaches its limit and our words run out, the Holy Spirit continues the prayer.

There are moments when our tears become prayers. A sigh becomes a prayer. Silence becomes a prayer. Simply speaking someone’s name before God becomes a prayer.

God understands what we cannot express.

We must also practice holy surrender. Surrender means more than asking God to fix everything according to our preferred outcome. It means entrusting the person and the situation to God’s will and purposes.

Yet surrender does not excuse us from faithful action. Grace calls us to discipleship. Prayer may lead us to listen, offer encouragement, provide practical help, seek forgiveness, or patiently walk alongside someone. We cannot control the outcome, but we should remain willing to become part of God’s answer.

There may be someone on your heart today whose situation has left you without words. You have prayed for healing, but healing has not yet come. You have prayed for reconciliation, but the relationship remains broken. You have prayed for direction, but the way ahead is still unclear.

We do not carry people to God because we know exactly what God should do. We carry them to God because we know that God loves them.

Today, begin with this simple prayer:

“Holy Spirit, help me pray.”

Prayer

Holy Spirit, help me pray. You know the person upon my heart, the burdens they carry, and the needs I cannot see. Intercede according to the will of God when my understanding fails and my words run out.

Teach me to surrender the outcome while remaining ready to obey. Show me when to speak, when to listen, when to act, and when simply to remain present. Carry the prayers that I cannot express and bring hope into places where hope seems lost.

In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Today’s prayer step: Sit quietly before God with one person upon your heart. Speak their name and pray, “Holy Spirit, help me pray.” Spend several minutes listening and trusting without trying to determine the answer for God. Then remain open to any loving action the Spirit may ask you to take.